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THUR-SUN, April 18, 19, 20, 21, 2013 - 04/18/2013

REMEMBERING JONATHAN WINTERS SMALL WORLD -- California Health officials closed down Disneyland for unsafe working conditions.  How unsafe?  Well, it seems that employees who play Mickey Mouse have to match Mickey's physical characteristics exactly -- he has three fingers.  So, let's just say in Disney's defense, they did pay the surgeon. ROLEXVILLE -- Enforcing law and order in a billionnaires' paradise is a little different.  For instance, Dubai cops have a  Lamborghini in their fleet.  Too extravagant?  Not really.  You need impressive wheels when you're charging suspects with with offenses like wearing an Oxford tie having graduated from Eaton, or driving under the influence of an off-year champagne. DUMBO DISTILLERS -- A Japanese brewery is producing a beer distilled from the dung of elephants.  Several bottles of it and you wake up with the mother of all headaches but you don't care because suddenly you can remember everything that ever happened in your life -- except that you actually drank beer made from elephant dung.   THINK YOUNG -- Pop thrush Beyonce has been signed to warble a TV commercial for Pepsi.  They'll have to hire a supermodel for the commercials to be shown in New York City.  Under Mayor Bloomberg, no singer for a sugary drink is allowed to weigh over 16 ounces. PULLET POWER -- The Hollywood pop community is abuzz over rumors of the imminent breakup of Ozzy Osbourne and wife Sharon.  For w...

THUR-SUN, April 18, 19, 20, 21, 2013

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